hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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