why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
