Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
