when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
