i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
