You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
