So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if only i could text you this smell
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize