Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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