1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
