Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
