If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
