if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
