Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
