Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
