I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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