She said her name was "party"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In other news, I just burned my penis
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
