i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
