In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
