I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
