Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
