is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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