Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize