I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
