Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
