Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize