A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
