There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
