Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
