Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize