Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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