Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
