Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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