You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
