I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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