Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you didnt know i had herpes?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
