like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
