White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
