...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
