I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize