I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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