the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
