I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize