If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
