The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
