You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
