After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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