We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
