Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
