I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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