Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
