in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
