I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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