We got so high we made milksteak
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
