dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
