I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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