Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ugly people sure do ruin things
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
