You can't special order awesome
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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