I seem to have left my pride at pride
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
