She said her name was "party"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
