It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize