Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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