after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize