For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
NoShamevember. You game?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
