You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
