thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Come on in and take your pants off
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