Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
