Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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