you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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