All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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