ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
