I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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