omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
this will be a night to untag.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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