How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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